RQ: Helga On Wheels

Every once in awhile a model comes along that you just have to paint. Does it belong to a game you play? Is it usable in your preferred faction? I need you to understand, these are lesser questions. Of more significant import is, when you view the model, do the creative synapses in your cerebellum fire and scream across your consciousness that you need to apply paint to this thing, practicality and functionality be damned? In case you haven’t figured it out yet, that’s how I felt when I got my hands on Helga On Wheels.

A Scout and a Warlock for the Thornfall Alliance, as with any Riot Quest model she can be used in both Riot Quest and Hordes, screaming across the table on her spike-wheeled hawg and swinging her spiked bat like an unholy cross between Mad Max, Harley Quinn, and Porco Rosso.

Did we mention she’s wearing what appears to be denim jeans? Helga On Wheels may be a Riot Quest model, but she’s also a post-apocalyptic Iron Kingdoms fashion pioneer, a long way from her valkyrior days. 

The bike comes in two resin components, with metal forks. There’s a few resin channels to clean off, but nothing too daunting. Helga herself is in two pieces, with her left arm being separate from the rest of her body. As a Scout she brings the Spotter ability to Riot Quest, but she backs it up with Rush to get her wherever she needs to be, and Caustic Fumes to smoke out anyone she’s leaving in her dust.

Assembling Helga isn’t too challenging, with the only fiddly bit being her left arm, which you need to align with the forks to ensure the handlebar – clenched in her left fist of doom – connects properly. Helga herself retains her cast iron bustier and there’s some braids in there still, but the leather jacket makes it clear that this ain’t your momma’s Helga.

Spikes and rivets, baby! I will note, when putting Helga into her saddle, be mindful that you don’t scrape up any work you’ve already done on the engine as her feet slide into plate. You know, like I did. (*cough*)

For Thornfall Alliance players, Helga rides in with Cavalry, Pathfinder and Tough, and swings both her spiked bat and a bike chain in melee. With her hawg she can churn out exhaust fumes to provide some concealment, can reposition, and her newfound passion for riding gives her entire battlegroup and any nearby Meat Threshers the Cavalry rules as well. The bike itself has Crit Knockdown and gets an additional die to attack small and medium base models, while her bike chain can Pull and her spiked bat brings back one of my favourite rules from my days playing Borka – Brain Damage

Her spell list has some great toys in it, but Engine of Destruction has always been one of my favourite toys. Bump her up to SPD 9, STR 12, MAT 11? So she’s swinging that spiked bat at P+S 18 and hitting DEF 18 on an average, unboosted attack roll? Yeah, I’ll take it. This also plays into her feat, Highway To Hell. She gets to cast Engine for free, and any time a friendly model in her control area hits an enemy model with an attack they can make a full advance at the end of the attack, ignoring free strikes. That’s a lot of mobility and repositioning for a Thornfall list.

Helga is available through your preferred FLGS or online retailer. Consider supporting your favourite stores as we work our way through these uncertain times. While we can’t congregate as we’d prefer, we can still take advantage of contactless pickup and delivery services offered by those who enable our rampant nerdocity.

Shine on, you crazy diamonds. Stay healthy. Wash your damn hands.