No monster of the day today, Chris has been plugging through other things over the weekend, most notably a unit of Aberrants and an Abominant for his Genestealer Cults.
Speaking candidly, while I’ve kept myself loosely in the loop for Warhammer 40K, I haven’t played with any real dedication since the late 1990’s, when I had an army of Dark Angels and an army of Dark Eldar. Yes, apparently I had to play armies with “Dark” in the name, I was just that edgy. Cough.
When the Indomitus box was released for 9th edition, I split it with pal Blair, who nabbed all the Necrons, and I waffled between which Marine chapter to dabble with before ultimately settling on the Flesh Tearers. (Yes, I also have a Flesh Eater Courts army for AoS… thankfully there are no other “Flesh” armies or I’d be at risk of repeating history). I started in on them, but the trouble with Space Marines is that there’s so many damn options. I definitely have a collector mentality, gotta have ’em all, and my wallet can only take so much. The sheer depth of the range of models for the Adeptus Astartes is bananas, and with it being the most popular army type for 40K, GW is constantly looking to update the range with new shinies.
It wasn’t long before my eye was drawn to other factions with, I’ll freely admit, a more modest SKU count.
Whenever I’m talking with someone about choosing factions, the key question I always ask is “What do you think looks cool?”
I’m terrible at miniature games.
I have trouble remembering all the rules interactions, I mix up editions or even entire game systems in my head. This is why you don’t see me playing in the Warmachine tournaments at CaptainCon, and you’ll never see me playing in one of the World Team Championship rosters. As super cool as it would be to wear one of the team jerseys and fly the colours, I’m just, simply, not a competitive player. Winning is the goal, sure, but the point is to have fun. I used to tout my personal motto as “I can lose to anybody!” and I meant it.
So how competitive an army is, its rule interactions, all that malarkey, simply isn’t important to me. What -is- important, is how cool do I think they look.
Miniature gaming has multiple levels. Collecting, Building, Painting, Playing. I can’t afford to simply collect everything, I don’t have the mindset to excel at playing, but building and painting? Those I can do, at least to a standard that makes me happy. Win, lose or draw, if I’m playing a game with an army I like the look of, against an opponent who’s also put in the time to paint his army? That’s where I’m going to find the prime gaming experience, for me.
So if painting is the main focus, choosing an army that I like the look of, that I’m interested in painting, that I’m excited to see on the tabletop as I push my little war dollies around and my opponent does the same, is super important. Choosing an army that makes me want to grab my paintbrushes is key.
For 40K, I looked through all the ranges, and the more I looked at the Genestealer Cults the more they appealed. They’re a misguided militia, rising up against the corrupt incumbents, fighting for the freedom of their families and neighbors, completely oblivious to the fact that they’re actually furthering the goals of an alien intelligence that will ultimately devour them. They’re taking on all-comers armed with nothing but basic firearms and mining equipment, squaring off against advanced technology and incredibly advanced defensive gear with sledgehammers and shotguns.
They’re plucky, dammit. Opponent has jetbikes with laser lances? No worries, we’ve got dirtbikes and pipe wrenches! Ten foot tall genetically altered posthumans in ceramite armor? Nil desperandum, here comes Cousin Jeff and his friends, who’ve managed to grow extra arms, and we’ve given them kitchen knives and blowtorches.
Plus, they’re all bald.
Every Genestealer Cults model is devoid of cranial hair. The Magi, Sancti, Clamavii. All male models, all female models, all models with no immediately discernable gender.
I think it’s only fair to discern from this that anyone who actually has hair is clearly not one of the faithful. That wavy locks are an indication that the owner actively adheres to the strictures put in place by the corrupt planetary governor and their regime, keeping the populace enslaved and undermining any efforts they make to better their circumstances.
I find no flaws in this logic.
Now, get in the Ridgerunner, let’s go topple the slavish devotees of the false emperor and prove to the Star Children that we’re worthy of Ascension.
