Every two months Privateer Press graces us with a new issue of No Quarter, filled with fluff, hobby articles, strategic insights, battle reports, painting guides, and more material to expand the Iron Kingdoms and the games we love to play in them. No Quarter 71 gives us the Blindwater Congregation theme force, insights into the drunken dire troll Rök, Fennblade painting, Gavyn Kyle’s research on Kryssa, Rask fighting Ossrum in the battle report, fluff on Goreshade4, one of the first articles we’ve seen that actually opens up Zu for interaction and the point of today’s ramble, Extreme Colossal Wrestling, because Will Hungerford apparently can’t be stopped.
Finding new ways to get enjoyment out of your model collection is nothing new. Heck, when I was a youngster my older brother and I used to play chess using our Star Wars figures. Recent No Quarters have made it their mission to up the game. Not so long ago we had Grind, internet rumormill says there’s something new coming in the next issue as well, but here and now in NQ31 we have Extreme Colossal Wrestling.
Played on a 3×3 table – or ring, if you will, allowing you to use your existing tables with a full 12′ border to hold your dice and stuff without it interfering with the game state – Extreme Colossal Wrestling uses an action point system to say just how much you can do each turn. Whoever’s trying to squeeze the least into their turn will get to act first, presumably because it takes a cortex a few moments longer to work out how to effectively slap your opponent four times in the same turn. Exploding dice – much like the system used for Uncharted Seas, Dystopian Wars, and other such games – are the order of the day, with opposed rolls meaning that the attacker needs to roll more successes than the defender to pull of their maneuver.
There a bunch of generic maneuvers, each taking a set amount of action points. The basic strike takes 2 points, while a body slam or suplex takes 3, and that well and good, suitably wrestle-y, but real flavour comes when you choose your Colossal or Gargantuan. Each has a different set of stats representing their speed, strength, technical skill, showmanship and endurance, but it’s the signature maneuvers that sell them. Old Danger Snake – the Cryxian Kraken – can lash out with a Wind Up Noodle Punch, Bid Bad Laser Daddy – the Iosian Hyperion – can unleash a Northern Lights Sparkleplex, and Macho Mammoth’s Flying Errata Elbow Drop isn’t to be discounted. That’s a Skorne Mammoth, if you didn’t figure it out.
On the one hand I find myself wondering about how much interest there would be for a custom game board, complete with ring, next CaptainCon. On the other hand, I wonder how much green stuff it would take to put a Mountain King into a spandex jumpsuit. Heck, if I could sew, that could be an entirely different hobby proposition.
I like that Privateer is exploring different ways to have fun with the hobby, though at the same time I’m wondering how many folks would consider painting up a Colossal or Gargantuan in a wrestling themed motif. Granted, my Stormwall’s colours could already be mistaken for wrestling gear…