Fear and Loathing in the Monsterpocalypse! The Martian Menace welcomes reinforcements in the form of walking, stalking fear loaded to the gills with firepower. Phobos-7 cares not for your picket fence, or even the razorwire lining the barrier walls of your penitentiary. Something to do with having legs that are taller than apartment buildings, and a wonton disregard for property boundaries established by the city’s urban planners. Lodged at the registrars desk at city hall? Pshaw! Phobos-7 cares not for your registration fee!
Also released are the Elite Unit models for Chompers, Reapers and Snatchers, to help you more successfully chomp, reap and snatch. Contents as appears on label, I suppose.
When your planet needs defending from all sorts of gribblies, but your eco-conscious and want to do everything you can to safeguard the environment from the predations of mankind as well as the baleful emanations of alien species, it can be tough. Coming up with the tools you need to stand toe to toe with Gorghadra without leaching precious minerals from the earth or spewing the toxic fumes of industry into the atmosphere can be a real struggle. Thankfully, the bigwigs in charge of the Green Fury went back to their roots. Reduce, reuse, recycle.
If you absolutely have to have an enormous robot, why not recycle the bits from a previously destroyed enormous robot? Also now available, models to represent your Elite units!
Thunder on the Savannah. You stare into tomorrow across a sea of grasses when you first hear it. Thud. Then, Thud. A third. Another. Faster and faster they come. After a moment you realize you are not hearing the footfalls with your ears, but feeling them as the ground trembles. You turn in your seat to look at the man in the driver’s seat of the jeep. You hear an exclamation from the back seat. Your fellow poachers are alarmed. Then you see that they’re all staring in the same direction. You follow their gaze as an enormous titan breaks through the treeline, meaty fists each as large as a bull elephant, and you immediately wish you’d listened to your mama when she said you should have taken up a less dangerous career, like Lab Test Subject. Taharka has come.
The Legion of Mutates’ ranks are swelling with Taharka storming forward and the Slashers and Clickers joining the Unit pool. Let’s have ourselves a little unboxing.
Since the relaunch of Monsterpocalypse, I’ve been super excited about seeing the monsters we knew and loved from the original iteration of the game resculpted, redesigned, and returning to the tabletop. It’s been a delight to see the second wave factions drop, like the Subterrans, the Elemental Champions, the Tritons, and it’s been exciting to see new factions enter the arena, like the Draken Armada and the Legion of Mutates. I can’t quite explain why but it never occurred to me to expect -new- monsters for the first wave factions.
Okay,Tyrranix isn’t a “new” monster – he was one of the Combiner monsters from the old days (ie, his “Aplha” form was four individual units that morphed into the big fellow) but Mogroth, with the worst case of Purple Eye (an elder thing variant of pink eye) I’ve ever seen, is new to the playing field.
Did you miss me? It’s okay, you can admit it. It’s been a little while since I’ve been able to pull myself away from [REDACTED] to do a little bloggery, but such is the way of things. Today we return to the beleaguered world of humanity during the Monsterpocalypse. As if we weren’t dealing with enough malarkey with aliens, elder gods and titanic fish things sloughing through the streets, the Masters of the 8th Dimension have decided to unfold themselves into our paltry three dimensional reality, and frankly, they’re pretty judgy.
Today we unbox the Magistrate, and some of his attendants – the Jurors and Abrogators.
In the (concrete) jungle, the quiet (concrete) jungle, the lion sleeps tonight… well, not quite. Cassander roars and unleashes feline fury on the Destroyers. What’s the point of being the king of beasts if you’re not willing to defend your throne? The Monsterpocalypse is affects us all, so why not sign up for genetic alteration. One day you’re a normal human, possibly a chartered accountant, and the next? You’re an enormous lion hybrid and by golly, you’re gonna make sure the Zerkalo Bloc are filing their taxes on time! The Legion of Mutates has entered the fray.
Dragons come in many forms. While there’s the obvious disparity between European and Asiatic dragons, there’s various subcategories. A drake? Four limbs, no wings. Amphithere? Long, sinuous body with wings, but no limbs. Wyvern? Two hind limbs, wings as the forelimbs (and one of my personal favorite draconiforms). I’m not 100% sure how to categorize the latest of the Draken Armada’s colossal alien commanders for Monsterpocalypse, but it’s Gausamal time. Oh, and some of his smaller pals.
While the Monsterpocalypse continues to develop on a global scale, with the Elemental Champions joining the Legion of Mutates to fight off the Savage Swarm and the Masters of the Eighth Dimension (new starters coming!), one could be forgiven for forgetting that the true lords of Terra have been here all along, dwelling beneath the surface and waiting for the right time to emerge. Like a beautiful butterfly metamorphosing in its cocoon, but with dirty great drill bits and the like, the Subterran Uprising broke the crust with Hammerklak and his Mollock attendants, but he wasn’t alone. The masterminds of the underground empire sent reinforcements.
Blastikutter is … an odd little duck. Unlike Hammerklak, Blastikutter strides forth on long legs, ending in enormous tunneling claws. Drills are mounted on his shoulders and midriff, allowing for some seriously impressive shoulder charges and an utterly terminal belly bump (you do NOT want this guy at your kegger), while his arms end in a huge saw for carving choice cuts from hit… their… opponents, and a cannon. The weirdness comes from the mad underearth science that allowed two beings to be bolted together, giving Blastikutter two heads and allowing each control different attacks simultaneously.
That said, the bolts run up the center of the torso, over the shoulders and down the back, with no indication of incisions around or below the waistline. This would suggest that both upper portions are part of the same being as the lower, rather than different creatures frankensteined together.
From this I can think of two options. One, the upper portions were originally two independent upper torsos that were bolted together, or two, there was originally a third head between the remaining two that was excised for being a disagreeable git. I’m not sure which option is more disconcerting.
Blastikutter is the last of the Subterran models to be painted in my collection (until I get my hands on another Mollock blister, or PP releases a second minion blister and the new iteration of Drillcon-Vorionik) so now I need to decide if they should be paired with my Lords of Cthul or Planet Eaters… at least, until that Savage Swarm starter drops…
Hello, Citizens! I can’t help but notice how you’ve managed to do significant damage to your Earth’s ecosystem through pollution! I would like to introduce to you the superior recycling techniques we have developed in our home dimension, that you too might benefit from a planet covered in less discarded G.U.A.R.D. tank husks and the like. I am Kommander Yuri, and this is the pride of the Zerkalo recycling and reclamation program, Zavod 075!
Zavod 075 comes in quite a few pieces, anchored on the two resin components that form the upper and lower body. Both arms are metal, with an upper arm, lower arm, and one single claw for each hand. The remaining pieces are the cannon and three separate chimney stacks.
More than just an enormous machine on treads with plenty of smokestacks and a dirty great cannon (purely for self defense, I assure you), the Zavod 075 is equipped with a bloody gigantic scoop to collect that scrap metal that G.U.A.R.D. has seen fit to issue ostensibly as weapons of war, and after dumping them into its hopper, this wonderful device can break down and reassemble the components, creating actually useful things like Spar rockets and Vorota Walkers!
Zavod 075 can produce new units via a Summon action, or as part of a Brawl attack against an enemy unit, replacing the downed unit with a Zerkalo Bloc unit from your reserves. Once he goes Hyper, he loses the Summon action, but instead gains Salvage, turning debris from destroyed buildings into Power Dice.
Future generations of your dimension’s human children will be so glad you decided to embrace this recycling technology, so that you could leave behind a planet with far fewer G-Tank hulls. Reach out to your local Zerkalo Bloc agency and make your pledge to making a better world for the benefit and enjoyment of future generations.
Zavod 075, as well as the Vorota Walkers (mobile spawning points) and SPAR (single use rocket launchers), are available through your FLGS or preferred online retailer. Have YOU pledged your allegiance yet?
Most think it can be hard to shop for gamer pals, but in truth, it’s not as difficult as it seems. Worried about gifting a model for the wrong faction? Congratulations, you’ve just provided inspiration to for a whole new army! Worried about gifting a duplicate? Truth be told, the percentage of models that can’t be used in multiples is very low, and there’s always the chance to convert a model. What about roleplaying resources? Sure, no-one needs two Dungeon Masters Guides, but there’s always something missing from their library that can be identified with very minimal research. Worst comes to worst, have you -ever- heard a roleplayer say they have too many dice? Today I thought we’d drop some hints for shoppers, or last minute additions to your wishlists
Everyone’s well aware of Games Workshop’s Start Collecting boxes. Almost every faction in Age of Sigmar and Warhammer 40K has a Start Collecting box available. They’re all excellent value, and they pretty much all have kids that can be built with multiple options, so there’s very little fear of duplication.
If you’re looking for something a little more affordable though, that can welcome a new player to miniature gaming? Privateer has you covered.
Warmachine/Hordes starters provide everything you need to gets started, except a table and an opponent. Each has a complete rulebook and a selection of curated models that are suitable for learners, but that will still provide fun play for veterans. Suitable for the Fantasy/Steampunk fan.
Monsterpocalypse starters follow the same philosophy but aimed at those who really enjoyed Godzilla or Pacific Rim. Will you level the city and crush the puny humans, or will you save mankind from monstrous invaders? Either way, you get to slam your opponents into building and stomp their puny tanks. Good times.
If you’re a sci-fi junkie, Warcaster starters are the newest kids on the block but still pack a punch with plenty of pew-pew in a distant galaxy. Player communities are developing and the feedback on this game is positive and an exciting opportunity for someone looking for a dynamic new venture.
Dungeons & Dragons is the biggest name in town, and there’s a world of supplements and resources available. From the Starter Set for someone who’s never played before, to the Players Handbook for someone keen to take their first steps into a campaign, to Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything – the very newest resource for players and DM’s alike.
If you’re looking for a different roleplaying experience, the options are all out there – you could pre-order the Dune RPG for hardcore sci-fi fans, combat nazis and elder things with Achtung! Cthulhu, or sink your teeth into the award-winning Tales From The Loop for fans of Stranger Things.
Not looking to commit to a whole new campaign, but think a one-off would be good times? Steamforged’s Epic Encounters are self-contained adventures that can also be worked into an existing campaign.
Subscription boxes are all the rage nowadays for a variety of industries, and gaming hasn’t been overlooked. Privateer Press offers two different monthly subscription lines – one for Warmachine/Hordes and the other for Legend of the Five Rings – over at Mini-Crate. Dungeon In A Box, RPG Crate and Dungeon Crate all cater to Dungeons & Dragons fans, and there’s even dice subscription services like Libris Arcana.
Additionally you could look into a subscription to D&D Beyond, perhaps a membership in a subscription-based community like the Brush Wielders Union, or even hook them up with a link to a favored author’s Patreon so that they can get sneak peeks at upcoming works.
The worlds inhabited by tabletop gamers can be dizzying and confusing for those on the outside, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be navigated with a little assistance. I wish everyone the best in navigating the coming weeks as we close out 2020. We may be isolating for the good of the community, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to get our hobby on, or to help end encourage the gamers in our lives to do the same.